After all of the shit that I've had to deal with this past week which inspired me to write my previous blog. As I'm writing this, I'm listening to Machine Gun Kelly's "All Night Long." All I can think about are the first four words in the song: "don't think, just go." So I'm gonna take that to heart, no more thinking, just going. A good friend of mine, Michael betrayed me. He knew how I felt about Alana, but still went for it anyway, basically said "fuck Burnards feelings." He's been through a lot in his life, he recently got out of the hospital, he had a double lung transplant. I considered him my white brother, but those days are done. We did a podcast together, but those days are done. I still find this entire situation to be funny that all of this happens a week before Captain America; Civil War comes out. Because at this point, it is friend vs. friend, brother vs. brother. This is someone who I literally would've (and volunteered) to give a lung to (he has/had cystic fibrosis)! and this is how you do me? I wasn't able to eat for a week, I was waking up in pools of sweat, I started drinking again, not heavily, but I was trying to stop. In the sad thing is: I introduced them! Me & Alana went to go see Michael when he was in the hospital when she came into town. He told me that she was flirting with him in his inbox. But instead of being a GOOD FRIEND and saying "I appreciate it, but i know how my friend feels about you, I'm going to pass." The asshole just went for it! I swear if I could be a time machine, I would've never went up to that hospital. He didn't even want up to come because her two year old son was with us, because of germs. But we went anyway, because she was leaving that night. I'm starting to ramble, BUT THIS IS THE SAME GUY WHO FUCKING TOLD ME TO GO FOR IT WHEN I WAS HESITANT ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THE DAMN DISTANCE. But as he said: "distance has never stopped you before." Some friend right? So after they met, I don't know who sent who a friend request on Facebook, but that happened, then they started following each other on Twitter. I'm very good at noticing shit, So I started piecing the pieces together on Wednesday when she wrote that she was going to Megacon in Orlando! She lives in Colorado. So I started piecing all of this shit together. So here we are a week later, he still hasn't apologized to me, I doubt that he ever will, so our friendship is going to end tonight. Because I CANNOT have backstabbing individuals in my life. I have had too much pain and strife in my life to be dealing with this shit. But at the end of the tunnel, there is a light, I have used to anger and pain to start writing again, and it's also given me the kick in the ass in that I needed to get my shit together. I've finally decided to go to the Army or the Air Force. I'm going so they can help me pay for my schooling. I refuse to be like some people and just sit on my ass and betray my friends. So the next chapter in my life is starting due to the betrayal of someone who I thought was a good friend. I can't be in Florida all of my life, I need to do better, I need to be better. I've gotten too comfortable with just sitting here. But I'm thinking about life now, all the things I used to talk about with Alana will have to be focused on someone else. It's about time for me to get a career (long past time actually,) meet a nice girl who shares the same interest as me, get married, start a family. I want my happy family and happy life. I"m coming for everything that they said I couldn't have and more!
