As I’m writing this, I'm sitting on my stepsisters couch on Thanksgiving in Fort Lauderdale. I know what the tile says, but give me a chance to explain. Someone close to me, who I was planning to marry passed away during the pandemic. She lived in Fort Lauderdale. We were together for 3 1/2 (on and off.) We were each others everything until i decided to end things due to my insecurities and feelings of unworthiness. We reamained good friends over the years, pretty much until she met an overbearing, overcontroling dickhead named Labrandon Michael Hipps (fuck you, i don’t care if you read this. Im not chainging your sucking name!) As i said, he was overbearing. He basically controlled every aspect of her life, and made her cut off all of her friends, me excluded. Why was i excluded? Simple: because i wasnt gonna let some bigheaded douchbag from alabama try to eliminate me from someone's life that i was in before he even came along! They had a daughter together: Ashlyn (im changing her name because she’s a minor.) After her and Labrandon parted ways, I decide the best thing for to do was go on an apology tour to everyone he made her cut off. I’m rambling at the moment, so let me just fast forward: 2020 comes, and here and her reconnect. I see her on the Fourth of July and we make plans to go to the improv towards the end of the month to see Bruce Bruce. Four days later I get a call from her mother. She tells me her daughter died. Covid got her. August 1st is her funeral and I’m a wreck. I honestly can’t come down here anymore. Because nearly everywhere I go, I’ve been there with her. My aunts house, my stepsisters house where I’m writing this, the mall, etc. I’m ok for most of the year, but the seasonal depression kicks in around thanksgiving. Her birthday was November 25. I don’t know why I’m writing this, I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest and explain why I don’t like coming down here in the last two months of the year. But I do it anyway for family. But I think 2024 will be my last year doing that. I need to look out for myself, and my mental health.
