Why don’t I go clubbing? written (03/18/2008)

Why don’t I go clubbing?

Clubbing (in my opinion) is one of the few things that people do on the regular that yields NO return

You figure:

· Put on some ’club clothes’

· Drive to the club (Gas)

· Pay for parking

· Wait in line (For dumb long)

· Pay to get in (Don’t ask if there’s someone performing)

· If it’s cold out? Pay for coat check

· Purchase some expensive-ass watered-down, thimble size drinks.

THEN you have the fun


Men:

· You stand around and look at tits and ass

· Either try and look hard/thugged out or try and look sexy.

· Buy an expensive bottle of champagne that taste like sweaty rat back and front like you have cash like that

(But when a woman uses you for your cash you get burnt and call her a gold digger…go fig.)

· Go out on the floor and try and grind on some chick

· Or (my personal fav) Grab at a womans arms when they walk by and think that they’re going to stop and give you some rhythm.

Women:

· Stand around and look at the ridiculous outfits other women have on

(If you don’t …they’re probably doing it to you)

· Laugh at the guys that’s trying to look hard or trying to look sexy

· Go out on the floor and get molested by some dude dry humpin your leg like a Horny beagle

· Or the obligatory "Arm Grab" followed by ’can I talk to you for a second?"

puhahahhahah!

Basically what it boils down to is:

· An expensive outing with Loud ass music I would never listen to on purpose

· Sweaty stank-ass people bumping into you

(Dont say anything about it or then it’s on)

· People spilling drinks on your ’club clothes’

(Again, keep your mouth shut…might get shot)

· And you just ummm stand around and look around and ummm…yeah

· Then after ’bout 5 hours you go home

· OR you go to IHOP and spend some more money.

…so you figure, end of the night, spent about $100.

Less for women with the: "Ladies get in free before…" and Men trickin’ on drinks

But anyway, it amounts to too damn much…too extra for ole Mr. eclectik here.

Me?

Lemme go shoppin, I’ll get a shirt or a pair of sneakers

…a DVD, some juice, and relax have a slice of Pizza or some take out and watch a movie. Same or less amount of money…much more fun.

But do go out…enjoy,

just not for me.